Dear Auburn (the university, the family, the fans) and Chick-fil-a,
This letter is let the Auburn family know WHY we lost the Outback Bowl and to let Chick-fil-a know they can help Auburn will next year!
With deep humility I share this letter. Many are analyzing post-bowl plays, penning improvements for next year, rearranging staff, and reassigning players. Before you go any further down the road of defeat, I have a confession. Although your loss may be blamed on a couple of missed kicks, letting 3rd down conversions sneak past the the defense, or some missed steps on offense, the real reason for the loss is ME (and Chick-fil-a).
You see, before EVERY Auburn game, it is a (superstitious) tradition to eat a game-day Chicken Biscuit with american cheese. This isn’t just ANY chicken biscuit either, it has to be a ‘Chick-fil-a’ Chicken biscuit. The last time I didn’t get a biscuit was when Auburn lost to LSU in death Valley on a rainy September night 2013. We were watching the game from a friend’s home in NOLA when it dawned on me somewhere in the 4th quarter….I…hadn’t…had…my….biscuit…..Then, the time ticked down, and the final score of 35-21 was in the favor of the other tigers. At that moment, I realized that when our friends wanted to take us to some local, New Orleans eatery for breakfast, to which we were quite pleased, they were using their voo doo to distract me from the winning super powers of my chicken biscuit.
Now, one may argue that eating the biscuit doesn’t ensure a victory, as a Chick-fil-a chicken biscuit was had for all games lost this year, but what my theory proves is that we are guaranteed a loss without the consumption of said biscuit. So, why, you ask, did I not have a Chick-fil-a, chicken biscuit, with american cheese, on January 1st, 2015?….The answer…Chick-fil-a does not open until 10:30 on January 1st! They do not flour the first biscuit, they do not pressure cook the first breakfast filet. Breakfast on January 1st, for Chick-fil-a is non-existent. I was burdened all day by this and needed to confess.
To the Auburn nation, I am sorry to let you down. And to Chick-fil-a, I am hopeful that our beloved tigers will indeed be in the playoffs next year, please consider serving breakfast on January 1st. Limited menu? that’s fine! Open a little later? Quite alright. Just know that there is magic in your chicken. An unexplained magic.
Here’s to a better 2015 Auburn Nation! (And hopefully a few more chicken biscuits)