Faithful blog readers…some new, some old…Here I
quietly sit quickly write about something that has been on my heart for a few weeks.
In this social-media managed, digitally driven world we live we are constantly bombarded with lives of others. We are secretly comparing our lives to our neighbors, we are struggling to live up to our friends, we feel like we are failing at being a mom or not living up to someone else’s vision of being a wife.
Stop….stop right there….
Confession…I am 100% guilty of falling into the twitter trap, the Facebook facade, the Instagram illusion. Not only do I secretly hold my life up against others’, but I post the best of me too. Why wouldn’t I?? We don’t want people to see how we’re really feeling or what’s really going on…but then get upset because no one knows how we’re really feeling or what’s really going on. Confusing? Right?
Insert queso and oversized shades to make you smile!
My heart has been wrestling with “why?”…Why do
we I care so much about the fictitious family I’m trying to project? The answer is simple…Fear…Fear that someone may see my flaws, my weakness, my cracks, my brokenness.
Then, 2 words kept resonating in my mind for days…Permission…and….Grace.
Why permission I wondered…I’m an adult. I am raising two children. I have a mortgage. What do I need permission for? This word kept forcing its way to the forefront of my mind. Then it hit me…God wants me to relinquish myself to myself. You see, I don’t give my self permission to be different. I don’t give myself permission to fail. I don’t give myself permission to take a break, to rest, to say no.
I encourage you to join me as I start allowing myself the permission to not be perfect, and live in the grace of God that covers all things as we fall short.
In giving myself the permission to fail, the overwhelming pressure to be perfect starts to fade. In giving yourself permission, you are admitting that life isn’t always roses and that you make mistakes and that’s okay.
Give yourself permission to have an off day. Give yourself permission to spend 5 more minutes drinking that coffee in the morning. Give yourself permission to cry, to feel sad, to be upset. Give yourself permission to let go of the things you cannot change.
And, in permission, comes grace. Grace is one of those words I’ve heard my whole life in church. Grace, grace, grace, amazing grace, God’s grace..blah blah blah…But what does that REALLY mean. Well, after becoming a wife and mother, you learn very quickly what grace means, by seeing it in action.
I encourage anyone out there who has had an off-day, a tough patch, or a rocky season in life to remember the word grace. Grace, the free and unmerited favor of God. We will have pinterest fails, we will be tired, our kids’ hair won’t always be perfect and their clothes won’t always match. We will struggle to finish chores, cook a healthy meal, play with the kids, and get it all done in a day. There will be moments we lose our cool or we’ll snap at our kids or spouse. In these moments, when we feel completely inadequate and worthless, remember there is grace….God’s unmerited favor…and give yourself permission to not be perfect.
Remember this….Forgetting a school spirit day won’t make our child a misfit. One day that you stuff your kids full of bad food, out of convenience, won’t send them into obesity (just don’t make it a habit 🙂 ). One day that you have to spend more time running errands than playing with your kids won’t make them hate you for life. One day that you don’t sing the ABC song or practice numbers won’t set your kids back 3 grades in school. One day that you just want to sit and watch movies with your kids won’t make them permanent zombies.
Just know that we love showing off our highlight reel on social media. Now don’t get me wrong, there absolutely is authenticity in those moments, but as a mama, some days I may be pulling my hair out after I post some fun picture of my daughter silly dancing. Keep it all in perspective!
There is freedom in permission and there is peace in grace. Let the permission to be imperfect settle well in your soul. This side of eternity perfection isn’t possible. We are constantly battling against forces wrestling to steal our joy, zap our happiness, and redirect our purpose. Grant yourself permission to accept grace. Yes, it’s the free and unmerited favor of God. But, what else on this earth do we get without merit? Nothing! Absolutely nothing! So take it!
Last thing, give yourself permission to be different. Know that we all have different gifts, different talents, different purposes. Live in your strengths. Reside there. Sometimes our greatest personal defeat comes from feeling like someone else is doing more or doing something better or doing something different than you. In turn, your mind twists that into a personal deficiency. We easily forget what all we are contributing and how our contribution IS noticed and IS impacting the world around us. Please don’t ever let your difference equate to deficient.
You are strong. You are capable. You are worthy. You are special. You are unique. I give you permission to be you!